Learning to ask

The idea of asking for help in any shape or form had me shivering in my boots not so long ago. It isn’t the actual “asking” that put fear in me, it was the feeling that I wasn’t able to manage, to cope, to achieve entirely on my own.

I have spent many hours trawling my mind trying to establish where the aversion stems from but that is a work in progress as I still don’t know.

Rather than continually dwelling on this innate notion I have to be overwhelmingly independent, which is actually rather false as I do rely heavily on my husband when it comes to decision making as we are a strong team, I have been working on asking for help and opportunities.

Mars has really brought this skill out of me purely because his own opportunities are limited, therefore if I want to give him an opportunity or experience I need to ask for it.

Recently we have been in the two week Winter school holiday period which is always a challenge for me as everywhere is extra busy with children making the most of their holiday break. And with the wet and cold weather, getting outdoors isn’t as easy and we tend to stay home even more.

I saw an advertisement for one of the shopping malls in town holding a find a Dinosaur Egg hunt and activities event for the duration of the school holidays. Now I know Mars is a huge dinosaur lover but that extends to many children and as I suspected the word out on the street was that it was insanely busy, but also great.

This was one of those moments that I decided “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”.

After getting in touch with the mall management, I asked if there would be any low sensory times available as Mars struggles with noise and gets stressed out with chaotic children. They came back to me and said that not as yet but will consider for future events and then offered for us to bring Mars in after hours that day so he could still enjoy the activities.

It was the best time.

Mars and even his 11 year old sister thoroughly enjoyed their VIP treatment of having the place to themselves. Even though it was really aimed at children more Mars’ age, our daughter has missed out on so many social activities and events because of Mars’ challenges so it was nice that she had a chance to feel special and included too.

They completed the dinosaur egg hunt, received figurines and got to paint plaster of Paris dinosaurs. The joy on Mars’ face was so worth putting myself on the line and asking for help.

Even the way home was a treat, as it was dark and it is very rare for us to be out at night, the children enjoyed seeing the city lights and Mars repeated “That was so much fun” over and over.

Now I am more determined to keep pushing and reaching out to give Mars more chances to enjoy life and see more of the kindness and generosity that so many people will show if we just ask.

Have you ever had people go above and beyond to help your children feel included?