Thank you for joining me at Life With Mars, and welcome to my new subscribers, once again I have had a number of people sign up only to receive nothing from me! And once again I give my hopes and dreams that I can get back into a regular swing of writing. This time I have a bit more confidence as Mars has started school, it is a big transition process but I am getting small windows of time for myself!
Daily Joys - Hedges and beehives February 2024
Three months of crazy
I haven’t even managed to check what date I last wrote a substack, I am conjuring a number of three months it may even be more. Crazy definitely sums up this period for us. The meltdowns have been intense, the sleep deprivation horrific, the endless moments of feeling ‘how do we keep going’ have been on a loop. Just trying to imagine what to say and how to write it without feeling like I am a serial complainer who can only muster negative comments, has weighed on my mind.
Today I feel some hope, making it a good day to write. Whenever there is hope and confidence it is easier to recall the happy times and the beauty of motherhood rather than feeling trapped under the burden I feel every day. I was explaining to Mum last week that if someone asked me how Mars is doing right now I would say “Imagine every challenging toddler behaviour you can possible imagine and experiencing them all, every day over and over, not in phases, just all at once”. It can feel relentless and unbearable somedays.
With all these challenges however there has been some amazing progress. Mars is following instructions more, he is markably improving with his scissors techniques (this is good AND bad!), his language and conversation skills have increased and he is loving making a joke with us and having a good old belly laugh.
School…eek!
The past two weeks have been working on starting school, not having had much experience with pre-school for so many reasons this is a daunting transition for us all and I have marvelled at how well the school are managing him. They have given me confidence when I have been terrified and are working with Mars to help him build relationships and find a love of going to school. What more could I ask for?
Mars’ school cubby. A moment I never felt was possible. 2024
Daily Joys Starting school 2024
Routines
Can a routine still be classed as a routine if steps are added or subtracted? I'm pondering this while Mars is drifting off to sleep, we are surrounded by laser stars listening to the Tyrannosaurus rex mediation for the 1600th time, we have gone through every step of his bedtime routine up til this point, and once he is asleep I can apply the magnesium sleep cream to his feet and slip out the door.
This routine has changed over the past 4 years, but the core elements have remained the same, the dinosaur meditation being one of them. This evening ritual has just smacked me in the face as I finally notice that his routine is also my routine. It's my chance to attempt to quiet my mind, take in the light show and absorb the familiar soothing tones of our favourite meditation.
As one who has been hopeless at embracing and implementing routines I am feeling quite proud that I have managed to keep this one going for Mars all this time. But I guess this could be a result of extreme sleep deprivation, always trying to do whatever it takes to optimise his sleep in the hope that I too will get some much needed zzzzzz's.
We actually have many routines if I truly think about it, I have just never committed them to paper and pen. They are now habits so strong that any deviation wreaks havoc in my own brain spectacularly messing up everything that follows. Does this mean that I am now a routine person? My morning routine is very precise and orderly, partly to ensure I don't miss anything and leave the house without deodorant on, and partly because it is my only chance to focus on myself each day and I must remember all the important things.
There are routines that break up the day and help to create a successful afternoon. These are punctuated by beverages and small bouts of exercises. All little tidbits of day to day living that round out a day to provide a bit of stability rather than chaos all the time.
Am I the only one who is not a routine person that seems to have an awful number of routines? I would love to know, please drop me a comment!
Thanks, hopefully this success of starting school will finally allow me some time to commit to writing. Yea I think I'm like that too, I need predictably and warning of change even though I was the total opposite only 5 years ago. It's amazing how much we adapt for our kiddos!
Oh I’m so glad you found even the briefest moment that felt good to write - I know that the ups and downs are so exhausting (not to mention the sleep depravation itself!). I do love some of my routines (& don’t notice how much until they get disrupted), that’s certainly something I’ve perhaps picked up from my kid. We like predictability & sameness and both need some warning when things will be different! Hope your days get a little less crazy…